Please Define Crossdressing

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The picture you are looking at has two garments shown – on the left is a women’s size 9/10 skirt and on the right, a men’s size 32/32 pair of blue jeans. If you were to describe this photo to anyone, what captions would you use?

Some that come to mind for me might be, “In love”, “Chillin out”, “Life’s good”…or how about “Unisex is best”. Those clean shaven legs on the left actually belong to me – a 47-year-old male and the beautiful toes on the right in the “men’s” apparel belong to my gorgeous wife.

With the shape and size of our bodies, we could easily swap clothes and reshoot the photo and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference – yet by western culture standards – I’m the one who is considered cross-dressing. So please, step back – look at our Western and European societies, and ask yourself, “What’s WRONG with this picture?”

-Kelly (Murray) Taylor-Faye

 

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2 thoughts on “Please Define Crossdressing

  1. Last year I went to a RenFest and wore a kilt for the first time. I wanted to do something different, yet venturing out I was in total fear. Wife and I went and had an awesome time, all the men were in kilts. When I decided to wear the kilt the following week, the wife said that I want not to wear the costume and I have to wait till next year’s renfest.

    Donning the kilt opened my eyes to a new clothing alternative I’ve been ignorant my whole life, yet the society somehow instilled a fear of wearing a skirted garment in all us men. Getting braver, I got a long skater skirt from Amazon and wore it around the house and did the barn chores in that 90 degree Florida heat and humidity. another revelation – cool comfort, freedom, why the heck do men have to wear jeans all the time?

    Being chastised by my wife for fear of my reputation being soiled by people seeing me as a crossdresser, she is totally against me wearing the skirt.

    I then got an Mountain Hardware ElKommando kilt, which clearly says its “mens”, yet the wife still says its a skirt. I wore it to the beach and to Starbucks to much of her objections.

    No one cares that Im wearing a kilt at the grocery store, for some reason I still think that if I’m seen, the villagers will hunt me down with pitchforks and torches, yet when I’m at the store, nothing happens, no look, no comments. Just people going about their business, on their phones and shopping.

    Its Hot and Humid, and I still wear the Kilt, my wife, still objects. She keeps telling me just to wear a nice pair of shorts. She says she’s not attracted to me in a skirt/ kilt. How can I get her to accept the fact that I want to wear a kilt or a skirt? She keeps telling me just to wear a nice pair of shorts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey PONIGUY01, I’d like to say your’s is an isolated case…but it’s not 😦 My wife and I have come under fire for MANY things we’ve done – building off-grid, homeschooling, dreaded hair, allowing our boys to have long hair, and the list goes on. We spent the first 5 years of our marriage trying to please everyone and finally had enough! As a result – certain family members no longer associate with us and we found out what real friendships we had – but hey – they don’t pay our bills and I don’t wake up and kiss them every morning so it’s just a growing pain of becoming who we really are. They don’t have to be part of our lives if we make them feel uncomfortable about the way we live.

      In your case, Your best friend, partner, and one who has your back sounds like they very much care about the views and opinions of others. Life can be a lot easier to fly under the radar and never be noticed, but that doesn’t necessarily mean contentment or happiness on yours or her side. There is usually a really good, deep-seated reason we care about other’s opinions…and it’s usually from a painful memory of something that happened to us in the past. It’s real and shouldn’t be downplayed. That’s something I can’t give you advice on – but for you to gently work on as a couple as time goes on.

      Something that has helped me going out in public is learning to “own it”. Getting over my own fear has been hard, but actually going out of my way to say, “Hey, Hi, Hello” and smiling a lot has helped me to get out of my shell. A secret – People are selfish – they don’t care about you, they care about themselves. So when you see someone glance at you, they might think for a second, “huh, that’s weird” and then continue on with their own thoughts of, “Does my breath smell good? Is that person looking at me? My feet hurt. It’s hot today”. You’re nothing but a glance in their day in the same way when you are concerned about others viewing you, you never stop to note the colour of their hair, facial features, clothing or anything else…they are just a “momentary glance” in your own day…and maybe if they are really remarkable, a couple of comments later on.

      We get so caught up about what others think, we miss that we don’t even pay attention to the people we’re concerned about being concerned about us. And when you really stop to think about that, we start to realize, EVERYONE – including us, is just trying to get on with our days…and hey, if you happen to be wearing a skirt while doing it, getting on with your day just got a little bit more comfortable doing so 🙂

      – Kelly

      Liked by 1 person

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