Thank you Ellen

ellenAs my wife and I were watching funny clips of the Ellen DeGeneres show on YouTube, we came across a clip of her and her spouse Portia kissing – and we both were unbelievably moved by the passion and love you could see they had for each other. By today’s standards, gay and lesbian couples are fairly well accepted compared to say 20 years ago.

Today I’m proud to say that I wholeheartedly am for any kind of relationship – hell, over 50 percent of straight couples end in divorce – maybe they could be taking some notes! 🙂

I am, however, saddened by the memory of where I came from. A home where the word “Indian” was derogatory, pregnant teens “disappeared” for a few years to live with another relative. Living together was a sin and was lied about, and homophobia was rampant. I myself was terrified of anything to do with “gay”.

The amazing thing was, over the next 20 years, I had the privilege of getting to know some really great gay and lesbian couples and as the world around me changed…so did I. Every year I grow a little older, and I hope a little wiser. I’m now in my mid 40’s – married to my best friend and we have two of the most incredible teens you could possibly imagine. I’d like to say they take after me…but I think they share some genes with their two incredible mom’s (Our oldest son’s mom passed of cancer some years ago). As I look back on the struggles the gay and lesbian community pushed through…or the struggle my sisters faced moving in with their boyfriends and owning up to our parents, I realize we’ve come a long way.

I’m a happily married man who shares clothes with his wife…who in turn shares her husband’s clothes back. We think it’s pretty normal because it’s our walk, our relationship, our deal. No one wears the pants in our family (except when it’s cold – then we both do).  A few odd looks here and there doesn’t shake my tree – I don’t bow to someone else’s phobia and I sure as hell wasn’t put on this earth to conform to someone else’s ideology.  So the long and short of my stroll down memory lane is to hopefully give you a bit of hope. Regardless of what you feel uncomfortable about – realize that when you walk down the street every person you pass that looks just like everyone else is probably struggling to try to figure out who they really are. People who get stares and second looks get them because they are “remarkable”. They are set apart from the crowd and they force people to confront everyday normal…and that’s a really, really good thing. Please, who ever you are, however you dress, whatever makes you tick…please, go out and be you! You owe it to yourself.

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Kelly, Audrey & Kelly’s sisters
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