Guy In A Skirt – Judge Me Because I’m Judging You!

Kelly and Audrey Taylor-FayeI’ll be the first to admit that I kind of get a kick watching people’s reactions to me wearing a skirt. Why? Because I’m heterosexual – have a beautiful wife and two amazing kids. I have no desire to get a sex change and in fact enjoy the look of the female anatomy, um, how can I put this…well, let’s just say, I’m a healthy male.

As we go about our lives, I am amazed at how many comments my wife and I receive from women about the way we dress. My wife loves Victorian lace, flowing skirts, dresses, and flowers in her hair. Myself, I like soft materials, and some women’s styles, but mostly “A” frame and a few shorter skirts mixed with T shirts, boots or heavy heels – Sometimes a little Fem – but usually balanced with something that says, “I’ll kick your ass if I have to”. Together we make a very lovely eclectic couple. At a sale we were at, a woman commented twice about how much she loved my skirt and finished the conversation with, “I LOVE a man in a skirt”. We’ve even had a little elderly lady stop us and tell me how refined and good I looked wearing a long skirt, my grandfather’s 1940’s hat, T-shirt, scarf and 3/4 length wool overcoat.

Men on the other hand are quite amusing, Either they don’t bat an eye after the first glance or two, or are completely uncomfortable and want nothing to do with me. At first I found the latter response quite troubling and it made me feel uncomfortable being a man in “women’s” clothing (after all, I can’t deny I buy skirts from the women’s section of the store – last check the men’s department was fresh sold out of skirts) but after the first few times, I realized what was wrong – I forgot to write those people off. You see, as much as we don’t want to admit it, we all judge one another on some level – abilities, character, religion – all sorts of judgements that “qualify us”. You might judge me on my ability to sing and play bass, keyboard, and guitar, write computer code, operate heavy equipment, fix cars, farm, or on having compassion and making a difference in the community, on being an incredibly inspirational dad, or a caring, supportive, and loving husband – take your pick, If you really know me, you already know I do all of the above equally well…or you can also judge me based on the clothes I choose to wear.

As harsh as it sounds, when someone feels uncomfortable because of my clothing, I now realize they aren’t someone I’d want in my family’s life – at all – period! In a matter of seconds, their response helps show me the depth of their character. Depth of character is something that is refined and shaped with a lot of life experience. It is something people develop by letting go of limiting ways of thinking – usually handed down generationally. Those same thoughts that said the earth is flat, and we will never fly or of late – no one will ever buy music off the internet and put it on a little “pod” and carry it around. It’s the upbringing that teaches people to look at a woman and see a piece of property or someone lesser than their male counterpart.  It’s a father teaching their son to hate others because of skin colour, sexual preference or religious beliefs when in truth it’s out of ignorance and fear.

This response has truly helped me to understand what others go through. You see, I can change my clothes, run into that same person that judged me the day before and hit it off no problem, but for someone who is a different colour, or gender, they will forever be judged by that same person…and THAT judgement isn’t something they can affect by changing their clothes. So when someone feels uncomfortable or can’t handle a guy in a skirt, I realize how thankful I am that I don’t have to waste my time – they’ve already passed judgement on themselves. If an article of clothing is a barrier of their making – what can be said or done to change or affect that way of thinking – and would you trust your children or wife to be around someone of that character? I would love to hear your thoughts and comments on this. Let me know in the comments below.

man in a skirt

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6 thoughts on “Guy In A Skirt – Judge Me Because I’m Judging You!

  1. Another very good blog. I fully agree with your sentiments on “judge me as I’m judging you”. I do the same and have the same philosophy. Life is far too short to be bothered by people who will pass opinions about others, cannot accept it in their direction and certainly do not look at themselves first. I have a few quotes on my site from third parties on this area of human intelligence, a page where I provide a link and the actual blog from a third party entitled “Go Ahead, Criticise Me” but I also say myself “men in skirts may not be to your preference, liking or inclination. I may not like your tastes/views or some of them. Then again, it is an almost certainty that you may have your tastes/views now and be completely different in a few years for some or all of your current tastes/views so why should you be allowed to express your opinions on me or others.”

    Like yourself I dismiss those with narrow/shallow minds and embrace others who are open minded. There are plenty of the latter around.

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    1. Thanks Jeremy, I read Matthew’s post and left a comment on his blog post. He’s a great writer and truly has a heart for viewing other’s choices of clothing much the same as I do. Pink and blue don’t separate genders and everyone should and IS ALLOWED to wear what they think looks good or is comfortable. Since I started down the road of discovery on what I like to wear, my wife, Audrey has discovered she’s much more about the feel of clothes than she ever thought. It’s been a unique and wonderful journey for both of us. Last week I bought a new skirt and noticed her eyeing it up…today I “caught” her wearing it…and might I say, she rocks it and I enjoy it more because she’s worn it. Clothing has made our marriage much more fun. After 12 years, we don’t think twice about whose is whose and lots of times she likes to grab my sweater or my coat and wear them because its a way of being closer to me. People really need to let go of their insecurities of masculinity. It makes life and marriage much more enjoyable.

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  2. I’m much the same; a man who wears skirts for a personal style choice, not crossdressing or trying to be anything beyond the individual I am. I like the fashion and enjoy making people think about their gender expectations and stereotypes. I too am a heterosexual man, married for a quarter-century and father of two well adjusted academically talented kids, now college age.

    Keep doing what you’re doing and we will slowly improve the world. We are the point men for others who are just finding the courage and resolve to be themselves, free of the shackles of stigma and social mores.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice piece. I like ur point and as a fem gay man. Who is happy with his body and proud of his effeminate taste in terms of clothing. I found interesting that you a straight man enjoying wearing skirt. I agree that clothes has not gender but unfortunately we have to continue educating society about it. Thanks for sharing it with us! Nice blog btw.

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  4. Yes, there is no need to appease bigots. Although, for reasons of physical safety it is wise to stay away from places that are dominated by them, such as hairy arse pubs, which I don’t like anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

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